One Year On - Happy Birthday Darling.

Below is the original post I was going to put up yesterday.

We had imagined spending your birthday weekend opening presents, going for a picnic, having cake with your Nanny, Grandpa and Uncle and then finishing off with a birthday party on Sunday.

Instead, your Daddy and I spent the weekend spontaneously vomiting. You did open your presents and you had cake for lunch but we couldn't hug or kiss you incase you got ill too and it broke our hearts.

I know it's not our fault but I can't help but feel like I completely ruined it (because I was the one who got ill first and then passed it on to your Daddy).

 We're going to celebrate your birthday properly. We're going to have a party. Just not when me and Daddy are spewing everywhere.

I'm sorry kiddo, we'll make it up to you.

* * * * *

A year ago today you decided you were ready. 

It was two days until our due date and two days until we were moving into our new flat.

I woke up at 4am, waters over the bed, contractions waving over us.

It took us 28 hours to get past 4cm, I went from 4 to 10cm in an hour and then pushed you out in 40 minutes.

Your daddy saw you crown. One push later and your Daddy saw your head, your face.  

I found strength I didn't know existed for one more push, for you.

At 9.37am you came into the world. Our world. 

You didn't even cry, you squeaked. 

You were placed in my arms in a little white towel and the world came to a stop.

There was no one else there but us. 

Happy birthday our darling girl.